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Post by red dwarf addict on Oct 3, 2004 13:19:36 GMT -5
Rimmer heard the thud of feet on the floor stop, and he looked behind him. Lister was staring ahead then shouted something that sounded like ‘Ourobbyroos’ then he fainted. Rimmer stopped and it took a couple of seconds to sink in. Suddenly it all went very cold. Rimmer started running back to Lister but stopped. Was it really worth it? He glanced down the corridor but they had gained a bit on the URMTFDALMHSATMHF. (Unidentified Running Monster That Fires Darts At Lister Making Him Sleepy And Then Makes Him Faint) Option 1: RUN!!!!!! Option 2: Grab Lister and RUN!!!!!! The URMTFDALMHSATMHF came pelting round the corridor, and Rimmer had a split second to choose. He made his decision.
Rimmer ran into the room where Kryten and Cat were, spilling out his sentence while gasping for air. “Thing…shot…Lister…hit…got…him…now!” He exploded out whilst panting for breath. “Hey grease stain! You’re not moving!” The Cat shouted to Lister. “Quick we’ve got to…move!” said Rimmer getting more breath into his body. “Why?” asked Cat. Rimmer was getting frustrated. “Look! Lister needs help he’s been shot and the thing that shot him is chasing us right now! Do you get it or are we going to stand here for another 4 hours discussing the probability of the thing shooting our heads off?” Rimmer shouted angrily. They didn’t need telling 4 times.
Something was happening, something was buzzing in Lister’s ears, a sort of, high-pitched screaming. But then it gradually got lower and lower, then the scream became letters and the letters became a word, then the word became a name. His name. Lister. Or was it? “Lister. Lister. Lister. Lister.” The thing said in a whisper. Then it became firmer. “Lister! Lister! Lister! Lister!” Lister could fully hear now. “Can you hear me?” The voice asked. Who was he asking? Lister didn’t know. “Move your hand if you can hear me! Okay move anything if you can hear me! Please god move something!” Then another voice said: “Do you think THIS orange goes with THIS blue? Wooooow!” The original voice then said: “Shut up you stupid moggy!” Then they argued. Non-stop for 10 minutes. Do they ever shut up? The voice, the voice. Then his brain clicked. He was Dave Lister. An orphan, abandoned under a pool table as a baby. A man who brought a whole new meaning to the word ‘Slob’. A curry a beer milkshake addict who’s main aim in life is to take his cat to Fiji and open a hotdog and donut diner with a woman who’s dead. That Dave Lister. That voice. That life. That Rimmer. No wait, THAT Rimmer. Smeg, maybe he shouldn’t reveal he was awake. He didn’t think he could face it… Not anymore anyway. They’re still arguing… Lister resisted the temptation to whack his head. Maybe he was losing his sanity. Then in came the voices again, as Lister’s dream ended. “But it was my idea to come up here in the first place alphabet head!” Shouted the Cat. “No it was mine!” Rimmer shouted back. Maybe he should interrupt. At least they’d shut up. “Hi!” Said Lister sitting up. The argument immediately ceased. “Don’t you two EVER shut up?” Lister knew they would be shocked, but this was just stupid. “B…b…b…b...but….” Rimmer stuttered in disbelief. “How long have you been awake?” “ ‘bout 5, maybe 10 mins.” Lister answered with a grin on his face. “Heard everything!” At that exact moment Kryten came waddling through the door. What a time to come in… Lister shuddered. It was definitely getting worse. “Sirs!” Kryten started “Something’s shown up on the radar screen and I….” Kryten broke off in mid-sentence. Something’s shown up alright, but it’s not on the radar screen… They were really getting worse. Before Lister could stop himself, he grabbed his head, obviously in pain. “Sir! Are you alright?” Kryten asked. Lister shuddered again and took his hands away quickly. “Err…yeah. I’m fine Kryt’s, no worries!” Said Lister hesitantly. “Errrrr…Listy, it’s pretty obvious now. Tell us.” Rimmer said. “You’ll probably think I’m going mad if I tell you.” Said Lister, looking at Rimmer. “Lister your mad anyway! Tell us!” replied Rimmer. Then Lister explained everything. The voices. The sudden black outs. The pain. When he finished, the voice chose to talk at the wrong time. How much madder now? Lister curled up in a ball, rolled off the bed, hitting his head on a cow syringe knocking him out cold. Then, the thing on the radar screen, which Kryten never got to tell them about, hit the ship.
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Post by red dwarf addict on Oct 3, 2004 13:21:45 GMT -5
These are all gonna come in a heap these chapters....
C3
The ship violently rocked from side to side, throwing about the people inside, including the vulnerable Lister. Cat had managed to grab onto rail, and was reaching out to grab anyone or anything that came his way. Kryten had also managed to secure himself, using his groinal attachment. Rimmer, however, was in his soft light form. Being unable to grab anything made this situation a bit harder for him. Lister was crashing from side to side injuring his already injured body. “I got you buddy!” The cat reassured and reached out in time to grab Rimmer’s light bee. Only Lister was still going from side to side, whacking one side and then the other. Suddenly the ship stabilized making everyone fall over again. Rimmer light bee exploded into life and his image appeared. “Is everyone alright?” Kryten asked trying to unscrew his groinal attachment. “Yes thank god I’m fine.” Rimmer said quickly, checking himself over. “My suit’s creased!” The cat moaned, almost in tears. “What about Mr. Lister?” Kryten said as he waddled quickly over to Lister’s crumpled body. “Urrghhh…” Lister moaned as Kryten reached him. “Are you alright buddy?” The cat asked him. “I...I…I…I think so.” Lister stuttered and with saying that, he checked over his body. Bruises, ranging from Black – Blue, Green – Yellow. “What the smeg happened?” “Something hit the ship.” Kryten replied. Well duh… Lister clutched his head again, stood up and whacked it on the metal table, making it hurt even more. Then in a couple of seconds, the pain subsided, making Lister dizzy. “There’s something on the radar screen!!” Rimmer shouted in panic. “What are we going to do?! What are we going to do?!” Everyone ran to their places. “It’s a ship!” Kryten said looking closer. “Incoming message!” Lister said. The intercom buzzed into life and an almost human face of a man appeared on it. He then said: ‘This is Poppa Beertop of the Species Examination Centre. Please identify yourself.’ “1 Human, 1 Feline Sapiens, 1 Hologram and a Mechanoid.” Rimmer said. “This is the Jupiter Mining Corporation Transport Vehicle - Starbug.” ‘Just processing.’ The man said. ‘Identified. A Starbug off the Jupiter Mining Corporation Mining Ship - Red Dwarf. Crew…unknown. Please come to docking bay 49.’ “Hang on where are we landing exactly?” Rimmer asked the man before then man buzzed off. ‘The Species Examination Centre Vessel - Ouroboros.’ The man then switched off. Lister had a right to look blank. So did Rimmer. Ourobbyroos was very close to Ouroboros. Rimmer turned to look at Lister. Lister however, was staring at the floor, totally speechless. Here might be the answer to all the questions that had pestered him for so long. All his life maybe. ‘cause Ouroboros was a very important word to him. Because, Ouroboros was the word printed on the side of the box, which Lister was abandoned in, all those years ago. How long exactly? 24 years. No wait a minute, 3,000,024 years. Not to be sure, sure though. He’d lost count recently. He’d been too preoccupied, what with all this being Marooned 3 million years into deep space with no hope of finding Earth. Preferably an Earth that time went in the right direction. Ah! Someone was attempting to talk to him. “Err…sir?” Kryten was saying to him. “Huh?” Lister said, looking up. “We were just agreeing sir, we should get some rest before we meet these people. There’s still over 24 hours till we land.” “Oh ok. Sure thing.” Cat got up and stretched. He suddenly stopped, his arms in the air like a ballerina, like he just realised something. When in fact, he had just realised something. “Hey, d’you think there’ll be any girls on there?” Cat said in a panic almost. “Could well be.” Replied Lister, stretching too. “You said 24 hours? Woow! I better get ready!” The Cat raced off quickly.
The chapters have got pretty short, but it feels like the right time to end it if you know what I mean...
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Post by red dwarf addict on Oct 3, 2004 13:24:42 GMT -5
Rimmer had converted himself to hard light, and was presently making up lyrics to his Hammond Organ music in his and Lister’s sleeping quarters. Lister was actually asleep, much to Rimmer’s surprise. Who could sleep through Reggie Wilson? Rimmer would turn it up to wake Lister, but now he didn’t feel like it. As he stared at Lister’s sleeping body, he couldn’t help feeling sympathetic. Lister after all, had had a hard life, a better childhood than Rimmer, but still, a hard life. Lister didn’t know his parents, and bearing in mind this might be this first time he’s ever met them, he was pretty cool about it. He could sleep, he could eat, he could drink. Rimmer wouldn’t be able to do that. Thinking about it, he and Lister were similar in some ways, but Rimmer didn’t want to think about it. To be honest, he wished he couldn’t think at all, then he realised he probably wasn’t. He was computer generated and the computer was probably just making him think he was thinking. In fact right now the computer was probably making him think this stuff. Hang on, if he could think, he might exist. I think, therefore I am. Or not. He decided this was mumbo jumbo, and maybe he should see a physiatrist. Thinking about it, or not thinking about it, he thought he should just forget it. He went back to making up lyrics to his Hammond Organ music.
Lister stirred and the music pounded in his ears. Hammond organ. He got out of bed and stretched. “Good Morning.” Rimmer said. Hang on, what was Rimmer doing saying good morning? That wasn’t normal. “Err…mornin’.” Lister replied, and then decided to get out of there really quick. Lister walked out the door looking behind him, only to bump into Kryten on the way. “Waffle sir?” He said. Lister declined politely and half-ran to the cockpit. He found the Cat in the cockpit in the driving seat. Lister looked closer. He found the Cat in the cockpit in the driving seat, eating a bag of crisps. Lister looked closer. He found the Cat in the cockpit in the driving seat, eating a bag of crisps, with a red stain down his shirt. Lister didn’t want to look any closer. This was too weird. He suddenly felt the urge to go to the loo. There he was, sat on the bog, then suddenly light flooded in and someone was shaking him. Lister tried to shout: “Hey! Can’t I have some privacy?!” But then he suddenly realised he was lying on his bed and Kryten was saying, “Sir! It’s almost time to land at Ouroboros!” “Okay, okay, okay….” Lister mumbled, and he got out of bed. His eyes adjusted to the light and he went out the door. He was staring at the floor all the way to the cockpit. He didn’t notice it till he looked up. PINK. PINK. PINK. All the walls around him were covered in pink. Not the usual normal grey. In fact, not the usual normal pink. It was luminous. “Just thought I’d brighten it up sir.” Kryten said. “ARRRGGHHHH!!!!!!” Lister screamed and he sat up. “What’s wrong Listy?” Rimmer’s voice said and Lister heard a thud of feet. Rimmer stopped beside him and Lister grabbed his collar. “Tell me this is reality! Please, please, please!” Lister begged, shaking Rimmer. “Yes, yes, yes it is!” He said, which was quite difficult. Lister let go and suddenly realised this wasn’t his bed. “Hang on, where the smeg are we?” “We’re on Ouroboros!” Rimmer replied. “How’d I get from my bed, to here? I’m still in a smeggin’ dream aren’t I?” “No I’m pretty sure this is reality mate!” Rimmer said. “Then how…” “Don’t you remember?” “Believe me Rimmer if I could remember it I’d remember it. I wouldn’t be asking this question right now if I knew what happened.” “You fainted!” “I did?” “Yes!” “Why?” “How the smeg should I know?” “Sorry, sorry, sorry...” Lister mumbled, breaking off. “Hang on, are me parents on here?” A grin spread on Rimmer’s face. “Yep.” “You met them?” “Met them? I’ve had a drink with them, talked and partied.” “Where are they?” “You want to know?” “Yes!” “Are you sure?” “YES!” “Fine.” A pause. “So…” “So what?” “Show me for smeg’s sake show me show me!” “Okay, okay! Follow me.” Rimmer walked out the door. Lister followed.
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Post by Rimmerette on Oct 8, 2004 18:19:14 GMT -5
coooooooool! Please continue this I want to know what happens next ;D I am writing a Red Dwarf fanfic in script form. It's called Out of the Blue and I might post it here when it's done. I have a suspicion it sucks though. I can't get the Cat right and Holly has about 3 words in the whole story! but this is very good, you are much better at fanfic than I
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Post by red dwarf addict on Oct 10, 2004 9:17:12 GMT -5
Awww...I'm sure it's good!
I was born on Wednesday and I got my fair share of that woe thing, but you just wait and see what I've got in store for you LOL!
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Post by red dwarf addict on Oct 10, 2004 15:06:29 GMT -5
I present, Lister's mum and dad! ;D
It was true. Rimmer had met them. They were about 45, maybe 46. Because, they had too, been put in stasis. You see, the whole concept went like this; Lister’s mum and dad went on a ship called Ouroboros and just before launch they had a baby. This baby wasn’t allowed and they were forced to abandon it under a pool table in their favourite pub. Talk about a bad childhood. Anyway, the box was a standard Ouroboros box, with Ouroboros printed on the side. They didn’t know this, and had been surprised when Rimmer told them. They officially didn’t know their son, well a son anyway. Seems they were the only ones left on the ship, apart from Poppa Beertop. He was asleep in his quarters now. Rimmer asked them about Lister and the voices, but they didn’t have a clue. Probably some space dilation incident, were he could hear his own conscious. Rimmer also asked about the thing that came aboard, they said they’d had a monster on their ship recently, it may have nicked a weapon from the ammo deck, but it had gone as soon as it came. Rimmer presumed this had happened on RD, the monster came on and shot with the gun. The reason for being put into stasis? Well, the whole point was to stay out in that spaceship for 3 million years, then go back to Earth, and note the changes. Though, as all stuff to do with humans, it went wrong. Ouroboros got back to Earth alright, but only to find it desserted and completely covered in molten lava. So infact, Earth or rather, humans, had gone and buggered off without telling anyone else. Rimmer explained this to Lister, who was keeping unusually quiet. Then, the door loomed in front. Rimmer looked at Lister, then pushed it open.
Lister blinked. And blinked. And blinked. “Hey Duke! See you’ve brought a friend!” A woman said. Rimmer went red. “Errrmmm…Abi, this is….” Rimmer broke off as a man who looked incredibly like Lister, entered. “Heya! I was ju…” This man, who we can safely call Lister’s dad, stopped and stared at him. “Hey, your just like me.” “Yes, this is infact your son.” Rimmer said fidgeting with his fingers. There’s quiet, and there’s quiet. This was a quiet like no other. This quiet was dead quiet. Quiet, almost. “DAD!!!” Shouted Lister suddenly breaking the silence. He ran to the man, tears in his eyes. This was it. He finally had a meaning to life. His dad looked exactly like him, right down to the dreads. He wasn’t a slob, yet he wasn’t totally clean. His mum jumped in the hug too. She had long, brown hair, tied up, and dimples in her cheeks. She wore baggy jeans, and a baggy t-shirt. Lister had finally found his mum and dad. Lister had finally found the truth.
Rimmer leaned against the wall. Lister didn’t know it yet, but Lister had a brother. Yep, that’s right. You didn’t read wrong. What a shock for Lister. Lister’s little, I mean, BIG hug, broke apart and Rimmer stepped in to talked to Lister’s mum. “Err…Abi. He doesn’t know about Ben yet.” Rimmer whispered. “Maybe you better…hem hem.” Rimmer quickly walked out, bracing himself for the scream.
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Post by red dwarf addict on Oct 30, 2004 16:55:13 GMT -5
SNAP! There goes Lister’s guitar. Now Rimmer was in for it. All he was doing was a bit of karate practise! On Lister’s guitar. Whoops.
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Post by Captain Emerald on Nov 3, 2004 11:22:33 GMT -5
One day I'm going to read this.
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Post by red dwarf addict on Nov 3, 2004 12:48:16 GMT -5
One day. In the far distant future.
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Post by red dwarf addict on Nov 3, 2004 15:33:50 GMT -5
LOL I just joined FanFic.net. But I found out new users can't create any story for 3 days! Well at least I made plot summary. And a title. For all you non-readers.
Last Human…or not?
Lister has been hearing voices. Or is it just his wild imagination? Unless he finds someone he knows. Or doesn't. Then there's Rimmer. For ages he's longed to be human. Will he get what he wants? Who knows whats lurking in deep space for Rimmer, Lister, Cat and Kryten.
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Post by red dwarf addict on Nov 3, 2004 15:52:36 GMT -5
Rimmer shouted to Lister “The hull’s coming down! I don’t think it can take it! Lister where’s Ben?” “He was here a minute ago!” Lister shouted through the electrical surge. “You get out and find him! I’ll be ok! Trust!” Rimmer shouted back. “No! We’ve got to get you out Rimmer!” “It’s not worth it!” He didn’t believe he was saying this. “Rimmer the HTH machine will collapse! Straight onto you!” “Go for smeg’s sake! GO!” Rimmer shouted. Lister stared at him for a couple of seconds, and then went. Well done Rimmsey you just killed yourself. Congratulations. You win a Mini and a bar of Cadbury’s award winning chocolate. Then it fell.
Rimmer came back into consciousness. He felt a huge weight on his chest but he had an oxygen mask over his face. “Are you awake Rimmer?” A voice asked him. Rimmer didn’t want to talk; he didn’t have the energy at the moment. He just took in a gulp of air and recognised the voice as Lister. “We’ll get you out of this mess, I promise.” Lister said. Rimmer just nodded and waited, in excruciating pain while Lister struggled to lift a rather large piece of metal off the top of him. Then it all came back, the HTH machine, the overpower…………but the main thing was, he was human! HTH – Hologram To Human, was the machine they had on Ouroboros. Rimmer and Lister had found Ben alright, but then Rimmer eventually found out about this Hologram To Human thing, which understandably got him interested. But, as always, with every good thing comes a bad, and this bad was the Hologram could only last human for up to 24 hours. So Rimmer could at any time go back! He didn’t want to waste it crammed under a heap of metal! Feeling woozy, he took off the oxygen mask. “Feeling better?” Lister asked as he helped Rimmer to his feet. “The hull collapsed onto you. Why aren’t you dead?” “Well thanks for thinking positive about me. Thanks a lot.” Rimmer said. Then he realized. “Umm, Lister, your guitar, I might have accidentally chopped it in half.” Rimmer said and then defended himself. “Awwww, don’t worry Rimmer. It was getting old anyway.” Relief spread through Rimmer. “Don’t you mind?” “Not at all! Infact, I’d be delighted if you danced with me!” “What?” “Just a quick jiggle around!” “You, want to dance?” Rimmer couldn’t believe this. Oh. Rimmer started to notice a few things. “It’s a dream isn’t it?” Rimmer said as Lister twirled out the door. “It’s a smegging dream!”
Rimmer came back into consciousness. Hopefully without any dancing Listers. But this time he couldn’t see daylight, because of the heaps of metal. He sucked in breath and realised he was human! ‘Abandon ship! Abandon ship!’ A computerized voice was saying. It wasn’t Holly. It must be Ouroboros’s computer. “Mr Rimmer sir? Are you here?” Thank god, it was Kryten. “I’m over here!” Rimmer shouted. But he doubted Kryten could hear him. “Mr Rimmer?” Kryten asked into the night again. “Kryten! Over here!” Rimmer shouted again. “He’s over here Kryten!” Lister’s voice rang through as he heard scuffling overhead. Then Rimmer heard welding overhead and Rimmer felt hot and uncomfortable. He was finding it difficult to breathe. Suddenly a speck of light was above him. “Lister! I’m down here!” Rimmer shouted. “Thank god we got him.” Lister said and Rimmer heard metal ripping. It wasn’t long before he was out.
Lister surveyed him. Pretty much in condition. Bags were sagging under his eyes, but apart from that he was fine. Lister ran out the door and beckoned Rimmer, Kryten had already got back to Starbug. Rimmer was looking dazed and Lister was getting concerned. Well there was no need for him to worry, he was actually dead already. No problem ay? Ay?
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Post by red dwarf addict on Nov 5, 2004 14:32:43 GMT -5
C8 Lister and Rimmer reached the cockpit of Starbug both out of breath, where Cat was preparing for take off and Kryten was using a radio walkie-talkie to try and contact Lister’s mum and dad, or Poppa Beertop or Ben. No success. Half the ship had come down with the power surge and Kryten was beginning to doubt that………no! Not Lister’s family! Not after he just found them! Lister entered and Kryten forced a smile through his lie mode. “Wassup Kryten?” “There has been no contact sir.” Lister bit his lip and sat down. “None?” “No sir.” Kryten said, to the floor. “Look Lister! They’re probably not there! Maybe they went in the drive room or something!” Rimmer said. “That collapsed onto itself Rimmer. So did the rest of the ship. There’s no chance.” Lister said with not a trace of hopefulness in his voice. “You win your family, you lose them again. It’s the way it goes.” Lister got up and headed towards the door. He stopped and looked back. “I’m sorry for doing this to you.” He stared at the floor and started to walk out. ‘Can anyone read me?’ The radio walkie-talkie buzzed into life and Lister stopped in his tracks. Rimmer looked up. “Yes, I’m reading. Over.” ‘Is that you Kryten?’ “Yes.” ‘Well it’s me Abi, Dave’s mum. Tell Dave not to worry. Me and his dad are okay.” “Yes he’s right he-” Kryten didn’t have time to finish his sentence. Lister had been as quick as lightning in grabbing the radio walkie-talkie. “Mum I’m here! Are you okay? What about dad? Where’s Ben?” ‘That’s what I wanted to talk to you about….’ “Is he there? Ben?…..He isn’t is he.” “I’m afraid not Dave. We can’t find him. He was with us till…..the metal barrier fell, on C deck….” Abi’s voice shook. “Mum….I’ll find him.” He switched off the machine and grabbed his bazookoid. “Are you mad Lister? This ship’s disintegrating under our feet! You’ll get us killed!” Rimmer proclaimed. “No problem for you then.” Lister said darkly. Then he rushed out the door.
Bazzokoid, full charge. He was on his own – he had to be prepared. He had left Starbug determined, but now he wasn’t so sure. Large chunks of metal fell dangerously from the ceiling. He wondered cautiously through, trying not to make too much noise, or it might collapse on him. He was half-whispering Ben’s name as he progressed. Yet if he was distracted for even one second…. Game Over.
Lister was such an idiot for going out into something like this. But okay, he had a reason. The only reason Rimmer went to find the little smegger was because he drew the short straw. Literally. Rimmer reached B deck and began to think. Did money really grow on trees? No! He was getting too distracted! He had to focus on the goal! But does Peanut Butter really make a good filling? What was the point of the HTH machine anyway? It only made him more vulnerable. Hard light was actually better. In hard light he could do everything a human could do, (Well, maybe not THAT.) but with the added extra he was practically invincible. Yet being human he could get pain. But yet again hard light runs down power. Being human is just a gift. But do greens really make you healthy? WOOSH! Too close he’d better start concentrating. C deck loomed in front.
Lister was getting scared but he was a man on a mission. A mission to save mankind. Which was quite true actually. Because he was th….. DONG! Lister realised he wasn’t paying attention and he fell to the floor.
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Post by red dwarf addict on Nov 5, 2004 19:44:33 GMT -5
Rimmer walked through the rubble totally aware of his surroundings. Including a half-dazed Lister on the floor and a small unconscious badly-injured boy half crushed under a metal pipe 10 metres away from Lister. Great. Just his luck. While great pieces of metal the size of minivans fell from the ceiling he got lumbered with the casualties. He prodded Lister with a finger. Though he did feel tempted to do more than that. “Lister! Wake up you idiot!” A minute or two later Lister was up with Ben over his shoulder, still staggering from the blow. He made his way back to Starbug, with Rimmer way ahead.
“Well it’s lucky Mr Rimmer found you.” Said Kryten. Rimmer sat in the corner surprisingly not showing any emotions. “Ben’s injuries seem as bad as they should be when a kid gets crushed under a lump of metal.” “Meaning…” “He’ll be up and about in no time.” “Understatement…” “Okay maybe a bit more.” “Maybe?” “Okay, a lot.” “Your still going below the facts.” “There is hope sir! Don’t quit on yourself!” “I’m not quitting on meself.” Lister said looking straight into Kryten’s eyes. “Fair point. Your quitting on your brother.” “Get lost. I’m not.” “Well what are you quitting on then?” “Why should I tell you? You’re a mechanoid.” Rimmer looked up. “What’s eating you?” “Oh nothin’ much. Just I’ve lost me family yet again.” “No you haven’t! Your brother’s right here..” Kryten started. “Half dead.” Lister corrected. “And your mum and dad are okay..” Kryten tried. “About to be crushed to death.” Lister corrected again. “Stop thinking negative for smeg’s sake!” Rimmer suddenly shouted and jumped out his seat. “Start thinking good stuff! I’ve been dead for 3 million and six years! How do you think I feel?! At least you got a family now! Mine are dead! They were all smeggers anyway but I think it’s much better to have no family then a family that…doesn’t...love…you….” He broke off and went out the room. Lister’s depression suddenly went and he suddenly felt sympathetic. He didn’t try looking at anyone, he just took a glance at the unconscious Ben on the table and departed.
He didn’t mean it to happen like that. Well at least he got it off his chest. After he left he went to the cargo bay. He had had a lot to think about and now he needed some time to himself. Footsteps echoing along the corridor marked the arrival of Lister. “Look I’m sorry man I - ” Lister started. “No, my fault.” Rimmer interrupted. “Are you sure your okay? You seem a bit more…well…I don’t know. You seem to notice other peoples feelings a bit more.” Lister said. Rimmer looked up at him with heavy eyes. “I don’t know. Anyway we’ve got to get Ben okay then well, give him freedom.” “Freedom?” “Well, if you were a kid would you want to be stuck on a spaceship for the rest of eternity?” “Ah. Guess not.” “Well let’s find a planet with a breathable atmosphere and well, do something.” “Okay.” “You sure?” “Yep.” They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, then Lister finally broke the silence. “C’mon lets go down.” “Right.” They left through the cargo bay doors, both deep in thought.
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Post by red dwarf addict on Nov 13, 2004 7:49:28 GMT -5
“Mr Rimmer? Mr Lister? There’s an abandoned ship showing up on the scope.” Kryten shouted down the corridor. Lister jumped to his feet and sprinted to the cockpit. Rimmer made no effort to move. Lister reached the cockpit and checked it out. “Sir, I think we should Launch Scouter.” Kryten said, not actually issuing the command. “Well why haven’t you?” Lister asked. “Err…that is Mr Rimmer’s job sir.” “Well he isn’t here is he?” “But Space Core Directive 420 clearly states….” “Please Kryten, we’ve been through this before just launch the smegging Scouter!” Lister started to shout. “Launch Scouter!” The Cat decided he’d put them through enough argument and pressed the button. The Scouter launched and they sat back to watch the show. As the Scouter went through the snow, the outline of a crashed vessel came into view, then it gradually got more detail, it was blue, and it was more or less the shape of Starbug, but it was bigger. The Scouter ventured in the vessel through a small hole in the hull, running down something that looked like a hallway. Then after exploration, it came to a door with ‘Do Not Enter, Mortal Danger’ scratched on it in a variety of different languages, including Welsh. So, naturally, the Scouter entered. “Sir, that looks like a pretty large machine, with different coloured wires sticking out of it, and two electric wires sticking out the top.” Kryten said. “Is that what I think it is?” The Cat asked. “What do you think it is?” Lister said. “A pretty large machine, with different coloured wires sticking out of it, and two electric wires sticking out the top.” The Cat remarked. “An accurate description sir.” Kryten said. “Is it okay to go out there Kryten?” Lister asked. “According to the Navicomp, yes.”
Rimmer had not gone with them. He had realised something that had just made him depressed. He was changing back to a hologram. It was wearing off. He had, say, 25 minutes left. Once you start flashing in and out, you know something’s wrong. He could still touch things, that was okay. But he was getting weaker. Finally he decided to go to the cockpit and see what was happening. On screen was Lister’s view of the situation, and Rimmer turned on the Walkie-Talkie to communicate with them. “Lister? You there?” Rimmer spoke into it. There was a faint buzzing sound then Lister spoke, “Hi Rimmer. You’ll never guess what we found!” Lister said over the radio, but you can tell he was excited. Rimmer examined the screen. “A pretty large machine, with different coloured wires sticking out of it, and two electric wires sticking out the top?” “No. Well, yeah. Well, lets get straight to the point! We managed to link up the power, don’t ask me how, Kryten did it all, and it switched on, and then we put and piece of concrete in there, and it disappeared when we pressed the green button!” “Right. Great discovery Lister. A machine that makes things disappear.” “No, we then noticed some writing on the side of the machine. It was manufacture details, it said: ‘Time Machine Made In Taiwan’” “Made in Taiwan?” “Yeah.” “Don’t trust them.” “Taiwan’s? Why not?” “I once bought a hi-fi made in Taiwan. It’s a long story.” “Well what do you think? We could go back the Earth! Go back 3 million years!” “Your forgetting something Lister. Oh hang on, two things. First, who the smeg knows how to work this thing?” “Kryten?” “What? Since when?” “It’s in his programming.” “How to work a smegging TIME MACHINE in case of emergency? Just in case the mechanoid kills his whole crew, then meets a human 3 million years into deep space along with a hologram and a creature evolved from a household cat, then finds a Time Machine which all the crew want to go through?! You seriously telling me they thought of programming that into him?!” “Yep. Guess so.” “Second thing, what about Causality? If you even step on a bug it could divert the course of History!” “Well it’s only one little thing!” “And what about meeting your other self?” “Ah.” “Look, if anyone’s going to go back, it should be Ben.” “……I guess your right.” “Finally!” “I’m heading back to get him.”
Lister stood in front of the time machine, salty tears dropped from his eyes. With a lifeless Ben in his arms, he realised he was losing his family again. “Kryten, is it safe?” Rimmer asked. “100% sir.” “Let me just be with him, let me go back, just to see him go.” Lister said. They nodded their heads. Lister stepped into the machine. He knew what he had to do.
He materialised in an alleyway he knew well, and he walked up to door number 12, his own house. He set his brother on the steps, and rang the doorbell, then went behind a crowd of bins to watch. The door of number 12 creaked open, and out stepped Dave Lister. He noticed the boy on his steps, and accepted him into his home. Lister stepped out from behind the bins as his other self picked up the child. Lister smiled but it was quickly wiped off his face when his other self gave him a wink before closing the door.
THE END
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Post by Captain Emerald on Nov 14, 2004 13:47:44 GMT -5
To save me the trouble of posting this once I've read it: very good!
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