Post by Rimmerslittlevoodoodoll on Jan 11, 2005 13:23:50 GMT -5
Chapter one
Dave Lister, one of the only survivors from the leak in the drive plate, on the Jupiter Mining Ship Red Dwarf, Sat half asleep in front of the main scanner console. He had been put on the night shift after the Mechanoid Kryten had retired for some much needed recharging. Lister hated Night Shift, spending hours watching the radar for any ships or obstacles In case they were at risk of crashing. It wouldn’t have been so bad if they had encountered such problems, it would have given him something to do, but the fact was they never did... There was nothing out there.
Lister lay back in the chair, feet resting on the expensive equipment, as he fought to stay awake, but it was no use, slowly his eyes slid shut and gentle snores began to emit from his mouth. His chair tilted haphazardly backwards as he sloped deeper into an unconscious dream filled state. Completely past it Lister was now putting the huge vessel of Red Dwarf at risk, but did he care… No he was to busy dreaming of Fiji.
Red Dwarf floated onwards in the black abyss that was space. The whole crew now happily asleep, with no idea in there unconscious minds of the rather large Space Vessel approaching them.
“Red Alert Red Alert” Chimed the Ships computer, Holly. “Red Alert, every one get down to the Drive room.. Every body up the ships in danger of Crashing, there’s a ship heading straight for us… Red Alert”
Lister who had been fast asleep was so startled by the announcement that he fell tumbling backwards to the ground after over balancing on the two legs of the chair he had originally been resting on.
“Smegging Hell” he muttered getting up and rubbing his head.
Within a minute or so the rest of the Crew were in the Drive room with Lister, all looking very unimpressed. The rest of the crew consisted of a Mechanoid called Kryten, a Hologram called Arnold Rimmer, and a Humanoid that had originally evolved from a cat, which ironically was what the creature was called. Both the Cat and Rimmer looked highly annoyed at being woken up.
“Lister you were supposed to be watching the Scanner for any obstacles, how could you miss that” Rimmer said pointing at the port hole window “It’s not exactly Smegging small is it”
“Yeah, and thanks to you I lost a good hour of beauty sleep, while we try and escape certain doom” said the Cat in a hot tone.
“Look sorry guys, I… I must of fallen asleep, but I didn’t think there was anything out there, there never usually is” he said trying to defend himself.
“There is never any excuse for slacking of on the job Lister, especially when you put the whole crew in danger” Replied Rimmer.
“Yeah and my suits” chipped in the Cat.
“Look I’m Sorry alright but standing here arguing won’t get us out of the way, so lets buckle down” said Lister trying to change the subject away from his shear stupidity.
“Err Sirs the Vessel seems to be sending out some kind of message, it’s a little garbled though, the computer over there must be fried” said Kryten to the others. “Holly is there any way of making sense of this?”
“I don’t know hold on I’ll run it through my translators” she replied her face disappearing from the screen momentarily. “Yeah it seems to be some kind of SOS, there’s a survivor on the ship, but I can’t make out this part, their either Hologram, Mechanoid, GELF, human… I’m not sure but what ever they are oxygen is running low on the ship”
“Well once we’ve manoeuvred we’ll go check it out Hol” Said Lister.
“No Dave you can’t go, there appears only to be enough oxygen to sustain the life form on that ship, there’s certainly not enough to sustain you as well, or the Cat for a matter of fact” replied Holly.
“Hey hate to worry you guys but that ships getting awfully close, Holly can’t you plot a course with the Navi-comp” said Cat “Quickly”
“Hold on a minute I just need to correlate the course, while one of you plug in the Navi-Comp” Said Holly.
Lister grabbed the Navi-Comp and plugged it into main socket. “Ok ready for take off Holly”
“Alright Dave, sending across data and starting Auto Navigation” She replied.
Suddenly the ship veered to the left, throwing the Crew out off their seats and scattering them across the floor. Cutting it very, very close the Red Dwarf vessel missed the oncoming ship by the narrowest of margins. By diverting at the last moment they missed colliding front on with the other ship, and ended up pulling up close to its side.
“That was Smegging close” breathed Lister. “Well know we’re clear of that, who’s going to go and investigate. I mean Holly said the Cat and I can’t go in so logically it’s gotta be Kryten”
“Or Goalpost head” Commented Cat.
“Wait I’m not going aboard that, who knows what could happen to me” Retorted Rimmer.
“Err Einstein you’re a Hologram, you can’t exactly get hurt can you” said Lister sarcastically.
“Excellent now with that cleared up, Mr Rimmer sir; we can explore the Craft… holly could you please prepare Starbug one, and set a course to the other crafts landing bay” Said Kryten.
“But, but, but….” Stuttered Rimmer.
“Look alphabet head me and the monkey can’t go across, threes not enough oxygen for us, and novelty condom head can’t go on his own, in case something happens, which means your out last choice, so either like it or lump it” growled Cat.
“He’s right you know” chipped in Holly.
“Goits” muttered Rimmer “Alright I’ll go but only because you guilted me into it”
“Kryten, Arnold Starbug is ready” voiced Holly.
“Thank you, well lets get going Mr Rimmer” said Kryten.
Kryten waved goodbye to the Cat and Lister, before guiding a very none plused Rimmer down to the landing bay where Starbug One was waiting.
A/N: Ok i need help, i know i probably used all the wrong technology and most the characters don't sound like they should e.g. Kryten. But please can you give me ways of improving it please please and thank you because, basically it sucks lol. ((this is all i have written so far for chapter one so more will hopefully be on the way))
Dave Lister, one of the only survivors from the leak in the drive plate, on the Jupiter Mining Ship Red Dwarf, Sat half asleep in front of the main scanner console. He had been put on the night shift after the Mechanoid Kryten had retired for some much needed recharging. Lister hated Night Shift, spending hours watching the radar for any ships or obstacles In case they were at risk of crashing. It wouldn’t have been so bad if they had encountered such problems, it would have given him something to do, but the fact was they never did... There was nothing out there.
Lister lay back in the chair, feet resting on the expensive equipment, as he fought to stay awake, but it was no use, slowly his eyes slid shut and gentle snores began to emit from his mouth. His chair tilted haphazardly backwards as he sloped deeper into an unconscious dream filled state. Completely past it Lister was now putting the huge vessel of Red Dwarf at risk, but did he care… No he was to busy dreaming of Fiji.
Red Dwarf floated onwards in the black abyss that was space. The whole crew now happily asleep, with no idea in there unconscious minds of the rather large Space Vessel approaching them.
“Red Alert Red Alert” Chimed the Ships computer, Holly. “Red Alert, every one get down to the Drive room.. Every body up the ships in danger of Crashing, there’s a ship heading straight for us… Red Alert”
Lister who had been fast asleep was so startled by the announcement that he fell tumbling backwards to the ground after over balancing on the two legs of the chair he had originally been resting on.
“Smegging Hell” he muttered getting up and rubbing his head.
Within a minute or so the rest of the Crew were in the Drive room with Lister, all looking very unimpressed. The rest of the crew consisted of a Mechanoid called Kryten, a Hologram called Arnold Rimmer, and a Humanoid that had originally evolved from a cat, which ironically was what the creature was called. Both the Cat and Rimmer looked highly annoyed at being woken up.
“Lister you were supposed to be watching the Scanner for any obstacles, how could you miss that” Rimmer said pointing at the port hole window “It’s not exactly Smegging small is it”
“Yeah, and thanks to you I lost a good hour of beauty sleep, while we try and escape certain doom” said the Cat in a hot tone.
“Look sorry guys, I… I must of fallen asleep, but I didn’t think there was anything out there, there never usually is” he said trying to defend himself.
“There is never any excuse for slacking of on the job Lister, especially when you put the whole crew in danger” Replied Rimmer.
“Yeah and my suits” chipped in the Cat.
“Look I’m Sorry alright but standing here arguing won’t get us out of the way, so lets buckle down” said Lister trying to change the subject away from his shear stupidity.
“Err Sirs the Vessel seems to be sending out some kind of message, it’s a little garbled though, the computer over there must be fried” said Kryten to the others. “Holly is there any way of making sense of this?”
“I don’t know hold on I’ll run it through my translators” she replied her face disappearing from the screen momentarily. “Yeah it seems to be some kind of SOS, there’s a survivor on the ship, but I can’t make out this part, their either Hologram, Mechanoid, GELF, human… I’m not sure but what ever they are oxygen is running low on the ship”
“Well once we’ve manoeuvred we’ll go check it out Hol” Said Lister.
“No Dave you can’t go, there appears only to be enough oxygen to sustain the life form on that ship, there’s certainly not enough to sustain you as well, or the Cat for a matter of fact” replied Holly.
“Hey hate to worry you guys but that ships getting awfully close, Holly can’t you plot a course with the Navi-comp” said Cat “Quickly”
“Hold on a minute I just need to correlate the course, while one of you plug in the Navi-Comp” Said Holly.
Lister grabbed the Navi-Comp and plugged it into main socket. “Ok ready for take off Holly”
“Alright Dave, sending across data and starting Auto Navigation” She replied.
Suddenly the ship veered to the left, throwing the Crew out off their seats and scattering them across the floor. Cutting it very, very close the Red Dwarf vessel missed the oncoming ship by the narrowest of margins. By diverting at the last moment they missed colliding front on with the other ship, and ended up pulling up close to its side.
“That was Smegging close” breathed Lister. “Well know we’re clear of that, who’s going to go and investigate. I mean Holly said the Cat and I can’t go in so logically it’s gotta be Kryten”
“Or Goalpost head” Commented Cat.
“Wait I’m not going aboard that, who knows what could happen to me” Retorted Rimmer.
“Err Einstein you’re a Hologram, you can’t exactly get hurt can you” said Lister sarcastically.
“Excellent now with that cleared up, Mr Rimmer sir; we can explore the Craft… holly could you please prepare Starbug one, and set a course to the other crafts landing bay” Said Kryten.
“But, but, but….” Stuttered Rimmer.
“Look alphabet head me and the monkey can’t go across, threes not enough oxygen for us, and novelty condom head can’t go on his own, in case something happens, which means your out last choice, so either like it or lump it” growled Cat.
“He’s right you know” chipped in Holly.
“Goits” muttered Rimmer “Alright I’ll go but only because you guilted me into it”
“Kryten, Arnold Starbug is ready” voiced Holly.
“Thank you, well lets get going Mr Rimmer” said Kryten.
Kryten waved goodbye to the Cat and Lister, before guiding a very none plused Rimmer down to the landing bay where Starbug One was waiting.
A/N: Ok i need help, i know i probably used all the wrong technology and most the characters don't sound like they should e.g. Kryten. But please can you give me ways of improving it please please and thank you because, basically it sucks lol. ((this is all i have written so far for chapter one so more will hopefully be on the way))
But the rest of the characters sound ok. Also, watch your use of capital letters, for words such as Night Shift you don't need them. 
